Poem : Tug Of War

I can live in the past no more
Nor can I live in the future
And one, may never will
The present is all I can focus on
For the tug of war of what was
And what might be
Is ever so gently tearing me apart
Right down to my bones
I feel it
Deep inside
This constant feeling of being pulled
Yet, I clearly see this tugging rope starting to fray
And the pit-of-maybe in the middle is murky
Neither side of me wants to fall in
Yet I tell myself in the most convincing ways
Those waters of what if
Are far worse than they actually are
Yet
I know there’s promise on the land
And the applications have been filled
Turned in with an enthusiastic smile
Yet my phone sits silent
Not a buzz
Not a ring
Not a text
Just silently sitting as I look to the clock
And watch time melt away