Saturday, April 6, 2013

Poem : Marilyn

Oh Marilyn with your sweet stare so sad

Oh how you put on a show for us all

Your lips were the color of

Red twisted licorice

Your skin so soft

Like silk

As you lay stretched across the flip page of a centerfold

Your body

Your breast

Your hips so curvy

Your legs dressed with stretched diamond netting

You were every man’s perfect obsession

But it was your eyes that told your true story

The gaze of the lonely never lies

You knew, your bargaining chips of beauty would fade with time

Old age slips into our lives like a thief

Steals what once was

The fear that comes from not being loved

To becoming the most loved

Then knowing old age would eventually take it away

Had to be a burden to carry

A weight, unbearable to lift

For rejection is a demon that haunts with great regularity

Spreading his fear in your mind like a wildfire spreads through the forest

Engulfing all of your thoughts if you’re not careful

So you fought these feelings of fear 

The pills and smooth swigs of whiskey work well at first

Like candy they comfort

With their sweet outer shell they slide down with ease

They made your worries slip away for a moment

But the pressures of the past always come back

Abandonment is a scar that runs deep

After your mother left for the asylum

Life was never the same

Walking out of your world

Your mother would eventually walk the streets of my home town

Walking the streets of Gainesville

Listening to the voices in her head

Oh Marilyn, I understand your frustration

My sister and grandmother heard the same voices

Maybe there’s more voices to hear in this town

Or maybe some are chosen to hear the ones no one has time for

Oh Marilyn, with your sweet smile and beauty

I can see why it was easier to be numb to the demands of the world

Numb to your past

Living life in the flash of a camera could not have been easy

Trading one lonely world for another

It all takes a toll in the end

A pill to wake up, a pill to fall asleep

A pill for the everyday demands

If two pills fix what’s wrong on Monday

Three surely will fix Tuesday’s problems

This thinking catches even the beautiful

Oh Marilyn, at least you’ll never grow old

And have to listen to the voices of the city

You’ll live on, young, in still photos

With a smile and loneliness clouding your eyes










  1. Eloquent, insightful lament for Marilyn, Jason. Thanks for fascinating Gainesville, Florida, connection, which I didn't know until you told me that day in Jonesville. You're so correct, Jason, regarding Monroe's horror of age. My author, the actress Shelley Winters, who was Marilyn's roommate, said Marilyn told her,"They want me now, but what about when I turn 40?" How sad that I, too, didn't know in youth that life gets better as a senior citizen. Freed from the pressures of ambition, work, and family, the spirit blossoms the nearer we come to God, and at last we become the person we were always intended to be: happy. The throne of age is a magnificent place from which to view life.

  2. I remember you telling me Shelley Winters was Marilyn's roommate. Boy to be a fly on the wall in that place… lol Yes, I’ve thought for a long time Marilyn had a lot of fear hanging over her. Old age and the fear that one day she may end up like her mother had to play a part in some of her self-destructive ways. Both of her grandparents died in asylums. It is not easy living with loved ones that are mentally ill “schizophrenic,” because as a kid you are told that they once were normal and suddenly started to change in their twenties. So you spend your first twenty years thinking, “Will I end up like them? It runs in families.” It is a real fear that I can relate to. All in all Marilyn was one hell of a lady…