Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Discontented With Death’s Roll Call

The blue water tinge of disappointment

The blue water

It sparkles a thousand reflections of my past

My friends that have been taken from me

By its dark deeps

Checked off on death’s roll call

13 left by means of suicide

4 by the blast of a gun from another

2 stabbed

8 last breaths from friends were taken in the twisted metal cars

Smashed into stillness dripping with blood

It’s a sight that never leaves you

3 drowned

1 played Russian roulette

The odds weren’t in her favor

4 were locked up for taking the life of another

Including my grandfather

Prison is just another form of loss 

Shrinks will say

Letting go of loss

Will make you feel better

Then they’ll write you a bill

“Same time, same place, next week on a Tuesday.”

They say with a smile and a wink

Then spit you out

Like the sour taste you’ve become

Spit you out, back into the world

Or they yawn in the middle of

You recalling your nightmares

Then look at their watch

I think, I’m sorry if I don’t have your utmost attention

Of course

I understand

You’ve got a lot on your plate these days

Full schedule and all

So, again you’re spat back out in the world

Suicides are never something easy to deal with

The last was from someone I’d known my entire life

He lay in the crib next to mine

Looking up at the mobile spinning slowly around

With its melodic sound and small colorful animals

Lions, tigers, bears, giraffes, and elephants   

He ended our 42 years of friendship

By shooting himself in the head  

Sorry, there’s no way to be poetic with the previous line

Yet, I still wrote it down

Just to make sense of it all

Just to have something tangible in my hand

On the table

On paper

To make sure all of this was real


Suicide is as real as it gets

This poem is from my book : Petals Falling

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